A White Girl's Refection on the Growing Pumpkin Spice Trend

As we move away from the fall season of pumpkin spice and into the winter season of peppermint and hot chocolate, I'd like to take a few moments to reflect on pumpkin spice.  Being a white girl, I believe that I'm chemically wired to like pumpkin spice anything.  I'm all for Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte, and I have to have pumpkin bread at least once a year.

But, I think the pumpkin spice trend has gotten a little out of hand, and I have had to change my mind on liking anything pumpkin spice.  Just do a quick search on Google or Pinterest and you'll see what I mean.

Here are just a few (or too many) things that I have seen pumpkin spice flavored this year:

• pumpkin spice Oreo (husband loves)
• coffee (please)
• scones (I'll take two)
• caramel apple dip (I would pass on that next time)
• cheesecake (delicious)
• cake (I love the icing)
• cookies- snicker doodles, macaroons, white chocolate and more (meh)
• pumpkin pie (love the traditional one)
• pancakes (not for me)
• cake balls (not a fan of cake balls anyway)
• coffee creamer (yes, please)
• martinis and White Russians  (don't think I'd try)
• sugar scrub, soap and body wash (maybe...)
• doughnuts (I prefer chocolate)
• baked apples (doesn't that take away from the apple though?)
• play dough (seriously?)
• candles and wax warmers (I get one every year)
• popcorn (no thanks)
• Rice Krispie Treats (I prefer the original)
• nuts (nope)
• monkey bread (again, I like the original)
• granola (uh...)
• Jell-o (nope)
• cinnamon rolls (I could get on board)
• Chex-mix (eh...)
• cream cheese (ugh)
• marshmallows (no)

As you can tell by this extensive list (who would  make pumpkin spice play dough?) this pumpkin spice trend has gone a little overboard.  You could eat every meal with something pumpkin spice in it for days.  You would probably also gain 50 pounds.  Some of the pumpkin spice things aren't even edible, like candles and play dough. Okay, so my kid would probably eat the play dough, but she doesn't understand the pumpkin spice trend.

Have far will this trend go? What will kind of pumpkin spice things will they have next year?  Pumpkin spice motor oil for your car?  Pumpkin spice markers? Margaritas? Wines? Cooking oil? Chalk paint? Salad dressing?  It has to stop somewhere, right? Right?!  I think I'll be glad to see the trend fade, but just don't take away my lattes.  

I'd like to do more, but I have a 2 year old.

I'd like to blog more, read more, clean more, sleep more, exercise more, but I have a two year old.  Recently, she has really hit her stride in the Terrible Twos.  My son, who is 4, had worse threes than twos.  He had nothing on this two year old tornado I've got walking around.  My daughter screams, has these inconsolable tantrums, pushes, pulls hair, and gets into crazy things when I look away for a few seconds. I am sure I will get a lot more done after she is old enough that I'm not constantly cleaning her messes.

Here are just a few things my sweet daughter has gotten into while I wasn't looking:

• Emptied a wipes container, twice.
• Covered her legs in diaper cream.
• Tried to drink my water, but spilled it.
• Put toys in my water.
• Dumped out the dog's water and put the bowl on her head, more than once.
• Spit water on the table and the floor, multiple times.
• Painted her hands.
• Found a marker and put it on her lips like lip gloss.
• Pulls the chair up to the cabinet and opens the silverware drawer.
• Emptied the cabinet with Tupperware.
• Shut herself in the pantry, countless times.
• Grabbed handfuls of food from the pantry.

I Have a Dream...

I have dream on the rolling hills of Georgia that my house will be clean.  I have a dream that the dishes will be done, not one would be put in the sink, and the counter tops would be crumb free and spotless. 

I have a dream that one day my two little children will love each other like brother and sister, instead of like mortal enemies.  They will want to play together, and they will share their toys happily with one another.

I have a dream that one day my laundry will be caught up.  It will not be in a wrinkled mountain waiting to be folded.  It will not be strewn on the floors and closets waiting to be washed.  It will smell like spring rain and be free of wrinkles.

I have a dream that my dog will not eat my children’s toys, and that these toys will be picked up instead of my house looking like a toy tornado swept through the dining room.  I have a dream that I will get that dining room back, and we will have an actual table and chairs in there.  One day, we will sit at that table and eat a civilized meal, and everyone will eat what I cooked without complaint, and everyone will chew with their mouth closed, and no one will throw their food to the dogs.

I have a dream that  I will be able to sit down in the evenings and enjoy an adult beverage without a child coming down every ten minutes to see what I’m doing, or get a glass of water, or go to the bathroom, or be re-tucked in, or need another hug, or need to get rid of the monsters. 

I have a dream that my house will be spotless.  Nothing will be out of place, all of the socks would be mated, not a speck of dust will be found on the furniture, and not a smudge of crayon will be on the walls. 

I have a dream that I will be able to sleep through the night without getting up for a sick child, waking to a cough or cry, or changing wet sheets at night.

I have a dream that I will go to the grocery store without a child trying to climb out of the cart, or beg for a cookie, or cry for a Hot-wheels car, or complain they are hungry, or wave to everyone they pass by. 

I have a dream that my children will treat things with respect.  They will not throw away everything, including the car keys.  They will not throw my iPhone off the bleachers at a high school, or in the water table, or on the floor.  My son will not hide my husband’s wallet where he will never find it. 

I have a dream that I will not have to see a tantrum on a daily basis.  I have a dream that I can leave my house without someone having a melt down.  And, that I can get the mail and not return to see children at the door. 

I have a dream that my daughter will wear matching earrings.  She will not pull them out of her ears so often that I stick whatever earring I can find back in her ear.  I will not spend her college fund on more earrings.

And, when all of these dreams are realized, my children will be grown and out of the house.  I will look back on these days of mess and chaos and think of them fondly.  I will miss those slobbery kisses and breaking my toe on their toys.  I will miss the fights and the hugs.  I will miss the days of kid-dinners.  And, I will dream of those days and want my youth back. 

*Disclaimer:  This poem is in now way meant to belittle or poke fun at Martin Luther King Jr.'s I Have A Dream speech.  I am a big fan of Dr. King's writings and speeches.  His words are profound and still relevant today.  

14 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Than Getting My Teeth Cleaned

I HATE the dentist.  I don't know why, and I have no reason to.  I don't have cavities, and I haven't had any big procedures.  I never even had braces.  Plus, my dentist is super nice.  I'm convinced that the people who work there fall into the "nicest people in the world" category.

I don't really mind the scraping of the teeth.  It's the polishing that I can't stand.  That little spinning toothbrush makes a creepy sound.  Not only that, but I can't stand when the gritty feel on my teeth, or when the cleaning tool touches my gums.  And, I look like a zombie after they floss my teeth.

That being said, these are a few things I'd rather be doing that sitting in the dentist's chair.

1. Running.  I don't run.  I don't even work out.  But I'd rather run mile after mile than get my teeth cleaned.
2. Waiting in line.
3. Cleaning my showers.  I hate cleaning the showers.  They are gross.  I get wet and covered in bathroom cleaner.  I have to bend over, and that makes my back ache.
4. Changing a dirty diaper.  By that I mean the kind that takes a bath, where you throw the clothes away, and the horrible situation is etched in your memory.
5. Changing a tire.  Never done it, but it's probably more pleasant.
6. Mowing the lawn.  I did it once as teen; not for me.  I don't like being that sweaty.  It's hard with hills, and I'm allergic to grass.  If my husband were to die suddenly, I'd hire a lawn service before I mowed the grass again.
7. Camping.  In a tent.  With no bathroom nearby.
8. Caring for a colicky, inconsolable infant all day.
9. Driving a stick-shift, uphill, in traffic.
10. Replacing the batteries in the smoke detector at 3 am.
11. Moving.  The whole thing, packing boxes, moving the stuff into a truck, and unpacking.  Well, maybe not the whole thing, just an hour of heavy lifting.
12. Giving the dog a bath.
13. Doing dishes after a big dinner.  The kind where all the pots and pans are used, and you have to wash the fine china by hand.
14. Matching socks.

That's just a quick list off the top of my head.  Even though I hate the act of having my teeth cleaned, I do love that clean teeth feel.  Also, I get a free toothbrush.

Shopping with Kids: The New Cardio

I've read that if you do three or four bursts of cardio for 10 minutes a day it is just as good for you as getting 30 or 40 minutes of cardio at one time.  Ladies and gentlemen, I've found a new way to get my 10 minutes of cardio: shopping with my children.

I have two kids ages four and half and almost two years. I ran into Target for swim diapers, dog food, and a couple of other things.  The kids had never ridden in the toddler shopping cart, so I thought we would try that.  The toddler cart (as I call it) is about eight feet long.  It's a normal shopping cart with a plastic, two-seat, kid holder on the steering end.  For a large cart, it actually has a great turning radius, but I digress.

I put both kids in the toddler part.  My sweet two-year old decided to get out and run.  After I chased her down, I decided to buckle her in to the toddler seat.  She did not appreciate her confinement.  She struggled and screamed.  At this point in my shopping excursion, I'm booking it to the diaper section.

Now, I'm not one to leave the store just because my kids are screaming.  I have things I need to purchase, and I have just as much right to be there as the next person.  When my kids decide to have a tantrum in the store I just move faster.

I'm nearly running at this point, and I decide to move my daughter to the sitting part of the shopping cart.  She normally sits there, so I assume all will be fine.  She quieted for a minute.  A store clerk asked how I was doing.  I told him, "fine" through clenched teeth.  I don't think he believed me.

As we are leaving the diaper section and heading to the opposite end of the store for dog food, my daughter decides she doesn't like this seat either.  She begins thrashing around, and hits her mouth on the cart.  I try to console her, but to no avail. At this point, my son is yelling for no reason.  I decide to dash to the dog food section with a crying daughter and screaming son.

I arrive at the dog food aisle, and search for my brand.  I even ask my children, like they will know.  Instead of them answering me, another woman in the store looks at my children and tells me that this time will go by too fast.  To savor it, and remember it.  After all, her kids are 19 and 23 now.  I try to explain that I just can't find the dog food I need (turns out it was moved to the next aisle).  This woman and I were on two different wavelengths. That's sweet that she wanted to give me unsolicited advice, but I know the time will go by quickly, and that my children will be grown in no time.  I just want to get my few things and leave the store, so I can enjoy my kids when they are a bit happier.

Once I make it to the checkout line, my sweet daughter is fine, and now acts like she's in a parade by saying hello to everyone we pass.  My son is no longer yelling, but pummeling me with questions.  My kids are back to their normal selves before we leave the store.  I'm left wondering if 10 am is too early to open a bottle of wine.  But, it's probably healthier to drink water since I just finished a round of cardio, and I'm still trying to catch my breath.

The Lies I Tell My Children

I am a really honest person.  I don't tell big lies.  I don't even tell little white lies.  I'm almost honest to fault. When it comes to my kids, I want to be honest, but sometimes the lies just fall out of my mouth.  Santa and the Easter Bunny are the big, obvious lies, but I tell little ones too.  I have my reasons.  Sometimes, I don't feel like dealing with all the questions, and the lie would stop the questions.  Sometimes, the truth is too big for them to hear at this age.  Sometimes, I just don't feel like dealing.

Here are some of the lies I've told my kids:

• No, you can't have Tootsie Pop, those are grown-up suckers.

• I'm so cold (in the grocery store) that I'm going to turn into a Popsicle.

• The police officer was just making sure that Daddy was driving safely.  

• I can't find the movie you want to watch right now.  Or, that movie isn't working right now. 

• You have to wait until Daddy can fix it, I don't know how.

• We don't have the batteries that toy needs.  

• You wouldn't like this kind of candy.

• Oh, this is a gross grown up drink.  You wouldn't like it.

I would love to hear what lies you tell your children, because we all do.  And, I'm sure there will be another edition of this article.

The No-Reason Tantrum

Tantrums: the unbelievable, ever-frustrating, silly emotional fits that small children (and some teens and adults) throw.  My daughter will be two years old in two months.  She is really beginning to come into her own with the tantrums she throws.  My four and half year old son still has tantrums, and his can become crazy, although they are less frequent than my daughters'.

Tantrums happen for several reasons.  They happen more frequently when the child is tired or hungry.  Kids have tantrums when they want something, don't want something, or things don't go their way. In the blog,  Reasons why my son is crying it details some of the crazy reasons just one child has tantrums.

My daughter has what my husband and I call the No-Reason Tantrum, or the NRT.  These happen daily.  Usually, it's after she wakes up and is a little cranky, or doesn't get the beverage of her choice.  For example, my daughter was rolling on the floor, and my husband asked why she was crying.  I told him that it was because I offered her juice.

The NRT is my favorite tantrum really.  It comes out of no where and is for no reason.

The above picture was taken we toured a fort in St. Augustine, Florida. She was tired of walking around and didn't want to get in her stroller.  There was no pleasing her.  So, like a good mom, I got out my camera.  

This picture is my favorite.  Here, we were on the beach.  The beach.  Who gets upset at the beach?  She wasn't eaten by a shark.  She wasn't hungry or thirsty.  She just felt like crying.  She spent the entire morning alternating between playing or rolling around in the sand and crying.  

When an NRT crops up with my daughter nothing helps.  With my son, we could hug him and say "take a breath" or "it's going to be okay" over and over until he calmed.  My daughter doesn't want a mantra.  She doesn't want to be held.  She is past fixing the problem.  She just wants to cry.  We look like horrible parents when it happens in public, but there is really nothing to do for the five, ten, or fifteen minutes this nonsense lasts.

I know she is just beginning the tantrum phase.  When she turns three they will become ridiculous, leave-the-cart-at-the-store level tantrums.  Right now, we try to help, but there really isn't anything we can do for her.

In fact, as I wrote this, she threw her empty sippy cup at me.  I filled it up, and she threw it and cried some more.