First, let's just skip over the fact that the monkeys live in a house, with phones, and sleep in beds, and call the doctor, and speak English. These are obviously very domesticated monkeys.
In this story, the mama monkey has five children. They all appear to be the same age; that means she had all five at one time. It's pretty hard for a mammal to have five progeny at once. In fact, it's really very rare for a monkey to have more than one baby at a time. So, either these kids aren't all her own blood, or she runs some sort of orphanage.
And, monkeys start to have babies around three to five years old. That means that mom isn't that old herself, if she birthed any, or all, of the monkeys. Monkeys have babies pretty young, for people standards, but monkeys only tend to live about 20 years.
In this story, Mama is all on her own. There is no daddy monkey present. It wouldn't be that unusual in today's society, or in monkey society. Only a few species of monkeys actually mate for life, and I can't pinpoint the species in this artists' rendition.
The story begins: "five little monkeys were jumping on the bed".
What mom lets all five kids (who clearly sleep in the same bed) jump on the bed at the same time? How big is this bed, a California King? If she didn't know it was happening didn't she hear the commotion in the bed room? Was she in the shower? Are there no rules in this house?
"One fell off and bumped his head. Mama called the doctor..."
Big shocker that one of five kids jumping on a bed falls off and gets hurt. So, Mama calls the doctor. Now, unless the doctor is your family, friend, or neighbor, what doctor does she have a home phone number for? And why is she calling them so late at night? Doesn't she have common sense on a head wound? Doesn't she read the internet? Can't she find basic medical help online if common sense doesn't already tell her to ice it?
"And the doctor said, no more monkeys jumping on the bed."
Okay, really? No more jumping? Not, ice it or watch for a concussion? Aren't concussions all the worry right now anyway? What kind of doctor is this? He doesn't really seem to dispense any real medical advice.
To continue on in our story, the injured monkey is no longer jumping, and is out of the picture. But, Mama still lets the other monkeys jump on the bed until all of them have gotten hurt? ALL of her children now have bumps on their heads. Really? No one blacked out? No one needed stitches? No one had a concussion?
This Mama, mom of the year really, lets all five kids hurt themselves. Each time one bumps his head, she calls the doctor and asks him the same question, and he responds the same as the first. Sorry, but, at this point, Mama and the doctor sound pretty stupid.
Lastly, and this is my favorite, "no more monkeys jumping on the bed."
Finally, Mama is doing something right, but she isn't so sure about this no jumping thing. What does she do?
"Mama calls the doctor..."
Again. She calls the doctor a sixth time at night. He doesn't even seems bothered.
And, why does she call the doctor? Because she doesn't know what to do with her kids since they are not jumping on the bed and acting up. They are probably all starry-eyed and concussed on the living room floor.
"And the doctor said, put those monkeys back in bed."
Finally, some sound advice from the doctor. Put those kids to bed woman!
Mama really needs to get a little more parental education, and maybe some basic first aid training.
This story makes no sense, on any level. Yet, my son dances when the song comes on, and we've read him the story no less that five times in the last two weeks.
