The Lies I Tell My Children

I am a really honest person.  I don't tell big lies.  I don't even tell little white lies.  I'm almost honest to fault. When it comes to my kids, I want to be honest, but sometimes the lies just fall out of my mouth.  Santa and the Easter Bunny are the big, obvious lies, but I tell little ones too.  I have my reasons.  Sometimes, I don't feel like dealing with all the questions, and the lie would stop the questions.  Sometimes, the truth is too big for them to hear at this age.  Sometimes, I just don't feel like dealing.

Here are some of the lies I've told my kids:

• No, you can't have Tootsie Pop, those are grown-up suckers.

• I'm so cold (in the grocery store) that I'm going to turn into a Popsicle.

• The police officer was just making sure that Daddy was driving safely.  

• I can't find the movie you want to watch right now.  Or, that movie isn't working right now. 

• You have to wait until Daddy can fix it, I don't know how.

• We don't have the batteries that toy needs.  

• You wouldn't like this kind of candy.

• Oh, this is a gross grown up drink.  You wouldn't like it.

I would love to hear what lies you tell your children, because we all do.  And, I'm sure there will be another edition of this article.

The No-Reason Tantrum

Tantrums: the unbelievable, ever-frustrating, silly emotional fits that small children (and some teens and adults) throw.  My daughter will be two years old in two months.  She is really beginning to come into her own with the tantrums she throws.  My four and half year old son still has tantrums, and his can become crazy, although they are less frequent than my daughters'.

Tantrums happen for several reasons.  They happen more frequently when the child is tired or hungry.  Kids have tantrums when they want something, don't want something, or things don't go their way. In the blog,  Reasons why my son is crying it details some of the crazy reasons just one child has tantrums.

My daughter has what my husband and I call the No-Reason Tantrum, or the NRT.  These happen daily.  Usually, it's after she wakes up and is a little cranky, or doesn't get the beverage of her choice.  For example, my daughter was rolling on the floor, and my husband asked why she was crying.  I told him that it was because I offered her juice.

The NRT is my favorite tantrum really.  It comes out of no where and is for no reason.

The above picture was taken we toured a fort in St. Augustine, Florida. She was tired of walking around and didn't want to get in her stroller.  There was no pleasing her.  So, like a good mom, I got out my camera.  

This picture is my favorite.  Here, we were on the beach.  The beach.  Who gets upset at the beach?  She wasn't eaten by a shark.  She wasn't hungry or thirsty.  She just felt like crying.  She spent the entire morning alternating between playing or rolling around in the sand and crying.  

When an NRT crops up with my daughter nothing helps.  With my son, we could hug him and say "take a breath" or "it's going to be okay" over and over until he calmed.  My daughter doesn't want a mantra.  She doesn't want to be held.  She is past fixing the problem.  She just wants to cry.  We look like horrible parents when it happens in public, but there is really nothing to do for the five, ten, or fifteen minutes this nonsense lasts.

I know she is just beginning the tantrum phase.  When she turns three they will become ridiculous, leave-the-cart-at-the-store level tantrums.  Right now, we try to help, but there really isn't anything we can do for her.

In fact, as I wrote this, she threw her empty sippy cup at me.  I filled it up, and she threw it and cried some more. 

Taking Out the Trash

Oh ladies, don't we love to joke about how husbands never fold the laundry, or don't even know how to operate the vacuum?  And, when our men actually do these chores they expect acknowledgment. They want a pat on the back, you to be in awe, and to reward them for their hard work.

We also joke that all men are good for is taking out the trash and mowing the lawn.  In a way, that is true.  If my husband died tomorrow, I'd have to hire a lawn service.  There is no way you would see me mowing the lawn.  The same goes for the garbage.

Below is a picture of how I like to let the garbage and recycling pile up:

This is very typical.  It drives my husband crazy.  Would it kill me to take out the trash?  Probably.  Here lately, I've had to take out the garbage because my nearly two year old daughter enjoys pulling things out of it.

I beg my husband to take out the trash before it makes a scene.  If he forgets, and I can no longer balance the garbage on top on top of the cans, I do take it out.  I set it right outside the garage door.  For this tiny chore I expect to be acknowledged for my hard work.  If I actually put on shoes and take the garbage to the outside bins, someone needs to buy me a trophy.  And, lord have mercy if I actually take the bins to road on Monday night for trash day.  If I've done that I'm either feeling extremely generous, or something is terribly amiss.  This chore should be greeted with praise, adoration, and possibly, new jewelry.  

I say all that to say this, ladies, it goes both ways.  We all have chores we don't like to do.  If we didn't, they wouldn't be called chores.  Next time your spouse does a tiny chore and expects praise, give it to them.  It will make him feel appreciated and loved.  

Parenting Isn't All Rainbows and Butterflies

Being a parent is great.  But, sometimes, being a parent is really hard, and it sucks.  There are many reasons for a parent's day to be awful.  Yesterday was one of those days for me, and it was all my fault.  I woke up with a bad attitude.  I wanted a break.  It's been about two weeks since I've had any time alone from my children, and that was just to run a few errands.  I didn't want to go to my son's last soccer game.  I didn't want to deal with my daughter being sick and miserable.  I didn't want my husband to work another Saturday.  Thus, my patience was thin.

Sure, bad days happen to every parent.  That's natural and normal.  Just don't take out your own frustrations on your children.  And, that's what I was trying so hard to not do.  

We went into Target to get a few things for my son's soccer coach.  I was so impatient.  I didn't want to be there.  I didn't want to be a Debbie Downer in the store.  I wanted to look like a happy mom, but I didn't succeed.  My lips were pulled tight.  I was picking out a card for the coach and my son stepped on my flip-flopped feet with his cleats for the third time.  

"Really?  Really?  You have got to watch where you are stepping, son."  I exclaimed, my voice full of exasperation. 

A complete stranger, old enough to be my mother, said "You are going to miss this when they are 35 and 37."  

I ended up talking to this nice woman for a few minutes.  I completely vented to her, which is unlike me.  She showed me pictures of her newborn grandson.  She told me that she remembered her kids at this age.  She remembered the hard days, and she remembered the fun day.  Most importantly, she wanted me to know that I was going to miss my kids when they were adults, and to not take this time for granted.  

I left the store thinking about the advice of a stranger.  

I continued on to my son's game.  It was cold.  It started raining.  I didn't have an umbrella.  The kids were still going to play, at least, for a few minutes.  I told the other moms that I was going inside because I didn't want my daughter to catch pneumonia (I know, it's isn't a "catching" thing), and someone please watch my son.  I added, sarcastically, that I was clearly trying out to be Mom of the Year.  

I strolled inside the church (that's the field where the league is) feeling guilty.  During this time I was forced to talk to other adults, a couple were from my Sunday School class, and pretend to be happy whilst chasing my daughter around.  I really did want to watch my son play; I just didn't want to get my daughter sicker.

By the time we left the soccer party/trophy giving/celebration thing my spirits had lifted.  I was glad my son enjoyed his season.  I was thankful to have a young daughter to chase around.  I was glad to be around to wipe my daughter's nose.  I appreciated my time with my children the rest of the day.  I attribute this to the stranger I ran into at Target.  She had been in my shoes.  She knew not all days were bad, and to appreciated the time I get to spend with my children while they are young. 

A Bad Case of the Whys

The "why" phase is always fun.  It's the first question young children learn to ask.  It isn't who, what, when, where, or how, but why.  It starts around age two.  And everything is "why?"

Most children ask why over and over until they get told, "I don't know", "you're done", or "because I said so", or some other exasperated answer.  I used to tell my son that I have already answered his question, so he doesn't need to ask the same question again.  This kept the questions to a minimum, if that is possible.

I watch another little boy in my house, who is two.  He started asking why a couple of weeks ago.  It's innocent enough.  Pretty standard.  Then, overnight it seemed, his why asking got out of control.  It was a like a virus invaded and took over his speech.  Everything out of his mouth is "Why?"  Here are some examples:

Me: Time to eat.
Him: Why?

Me:  Let's read a story.
Him: Why?

Me: Let's put on your shoes, your mom will be here soon.
Him: Why?
(Seriously?  Didn't I already answer that?)

I know it's a phase, but he's got it bad.  But, as childhood goes, when the why phase is over, another will replace it. And, when his why phase is over, my own daughter's won't be too far behind.

If Toddlers Ruled the World...

Toddlers are fickle, demanding little people that go from crying to laughing at the drop of a hat.  They are just beginning to understand and use language and explore their world.  They also want things to go their way, and don't want to be told "no".  If toddlers ruled the world (let's be honest, most of them do, or think they do) things would be a little different.

If toddlers ran the world:

• everyone would survive on bananas, macaroni and cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, Cheerios, and chicken nuggets.
• there would never be a clean-up time.
• naps would be optional.
• so would baths.
• sippy cups would never be empty (and juice would never be cut with water).
• there would be no bedtime.
• TVs would have 3 channels: Disney Jr., Disney Movies, and PBS Kids (go ahead and buy your stock now).
• everyone would have mandatory dress up time every day.
• phones would only have the necessary numbers programmed in: Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa.
• all disagreements would be solved by hitting, pushing, and biting, followed by a hug and shared snack time.
• alarm clocks would be banned.  They wake up before dawn anyway.
• shots would be outlawed.  All vaccines and medications would be dispensed orally and be cherry or grape flavored.
• no child, or adult, would have any allergies.
• sandboxes and playgrounds would be everywhere.
• all houses would be outfitted with indoor bounce castles.
• no decisions are permanent.  Toddlers could change their minds as much as they want with no repercussions (most do anyway).
• tantrums are acceptable, and encouraged and allowed to last as long as they want.
• same with public tantrums.  There would be no need for parents to be embarrassed, since this would now be an acceptable practice.
• hugs would solve everything.
• no adult would be able to say "no" to them.
• finger painting would happen every day.
• nothing would be breakable.
• Power Wheels and tricycles would be the accepted means of transportation.

If you feel any important items need to be added to the list, please place them in the comments.

Family Story Time

Both my husband and I grew up with family dinners every night.  We love family dinners with our little family, but that isn't always possible due to my husband's work schedule.  There are many nights that my husband doesn't even make it home by bedtime.  However, there are several nights a week that my husband makes it home after dinner, but before bed.  On these nights we have family story time.

We have moved our guest bed into my daughter's room.  When she is teething or has colds, I sleep in that bed with my daughter for a few hours.

During story time, this double bed is perfect for the whole family.  We all climb into that bed and read a couple of stories.  Usually, my son picks out the story, a boy-type story, involving cars and trucks.  We pick another story for my daughter, usually a board book of some type.  Good Night Moon and The Very Hungry Caterpillar are favorites in our house.  My son prefers that my husband reads the books since my husband does voices that never fail to make my son break into hysterical laughter.  Both kids eat a granola bar (mostly because they are picky eaters and don't eat much dinner).  They get sticky crumbs all over the bed, and love it.

I cherish these nights.  I know soon they will grow past simple books, and read chapter books.  My kids will one day my kids will be "too cool" to snuggle up with us.  Before we know it, they will have their own cars, and we will wait for them to come home by curfew.  Then, they will move out, and we won't even see our children for weeks, or months, at a time.  They will have grown up, and have families of their own.  So, on nights that we have family story time, I try to set aside my frustrations from the day and the bone-numbing tiredness I feel.  I snuggle with my kids, kiss them good night, and hold their little hands during our good night prayers.

I love family story time, and our little family.