Every age has it's phase. It's part of life, and part of growing up. The first year is considered the hardest, and, I think, that's due to all the transitions to a new baby, new routines, and lack of sleep. But, every year brings it own set of unique phases.
The first year the baby does a lot of crying. Baby takes so much of your time because he wants to be changed, cuddled, eat, and sleep. There's the night feedings that cause you to lose sleep at night and drag through the days. It also makes things so much more difficult if, as a mom, you suffer from postpartum depression. And, colicky babies bring another unique set of challenges. It seems like the entire first year you take care of baby because he can't take care of himself. But, it's totally worth it because they are just so sweet, cuddly, they smell good, and give you sweet smiles. They also spend most of the year immobile, so they don't get into too much trouble.
Then, we have the second year. This is my favorite age, and what my daughter is right now. They learn to walk. They are exploring everything. Everything is new and exciting. There isn't as much crying, and it's so easy to get this age to smile. H is a joy right now. I love just watching her explore new things. She has started throwing tantrums, which is fun. She is so sweet, and sensitive too. I guess girls are a little more sensitive than boys. I say, "no no" and she puts her head down, and doesn't look at you, or dissolves into tears.
Next, the age between 2-3 is generally classified as the terrible twos, even though it really starts around 18 months. The child is really into everything, especially if you have a climber. They are very opinionated. These kids don't like the fact that the earth no longer revolves around them, and they will let you know. They might start hitting, pushing or biting. And, they really learn the art of tantrum throwing, including, but not limited to, screaming at the top of their lungs and collapsing on the floor.
Then, there is age 3. Terrible twos do not end, my friends. Nope, it just changes names. I asked my son's pediatrician about this, and she calls it the whiny threes. Very true. Now, my son might be more sensitive than some, but oh the tears this last year has brought. T seems to cry over everything. He screams and he cries. He pitches inconsolable tantrums. For a couple of weeks I couldn't take him to the store because he would lose his mind every time. Of course, this made H cry. I almost left the store once from the crying, but it was my only chance to get out to Wal-Mart that week.
T cries when he is too tired. He cries because he wants to nap, or not nap. He cries when his sister takes his toys or wrecks a building. He cries when friends take his toys. He cries when he doesn't get what he want for dinner. He cries to visit people, and cries when we leave. Oh the tears! I was worried I was going to drown in them for a while.
Now, T is four. I've seen other four year olds. This is the matter-of-fact year. The year of your child being Captain Obvious. One child came over to my house, and told me that my house was messy, and T needed to pick up the toys. Ha! The same child very calmly tells me what he eats and doesn't eat. Once, when T went over to his house to play, he told T and me that T had to be good because the Elf on the Shelf was watching, and he would tell Santa if T was bad. (Don't get me started on that Elf, and don't tell my son about it. He doesn't hang out at my house, yet.)
If your four year old hasn't embarrassed you in public yet, it will happen. My son points out every obvious characteristic. "Why she have pink hair, Daddy?" "That man have no hair! Why that man have no hair, Mommy?" "He has a big head." "She crying." And the most recent happened while we were traveling.
The family had stopped to grab lunch at McDonald's. I spotted a woman clearly going through cancer treatments; she had no hair. I was planning what to say when T would inevitably point this woman out. I was just hoping she wouldn't hear. I see her get up to walk towards the restroom. I tried not to make eye contact, because I knew what was about to happen. Before I knew it, T was loudly asking "Why that woman have no hair?" I saw a smile from the woman's lips, so it was okay, but just barely. I tried to explain that not everyone has hair, and that's okay. My husband said, "T! We do not say things like that! You cannot just say what you're thinking." Jeff, my husband, turns to me and says, "was that as loud as it sounded? Do you think she heard?" Yes and Yes.
But, the most embarrassing: T pointed out a woman with no eye to me at the grocery store. She was older, and I don't think she heard. The first time. But, I was at the pharmacy and left my debit card at home. I was on the phone with Jeff, and before I knew it, T was asking this woman what happened to her eye. Oh. My. Gosh. I wanted to die. The lady saw my embarrassment as I tried to apologize. She told me it was okay, because kids are so innocent. She went on to explain to my son that when she was a little girl, she was in a car that got hit by a train.
Wait, what? Now I had questions, but I'm not four, so I didn't ask. Like, why was the car on the tracks? Why didn't the adult shove you out of the car? What happened to the driver? And so on.
The moral of this story is that kids have all different kind of phases. Some are adorable, and some are downright infuriating (stalling at bedtime is another blog for another day). If you can learn to love your kids through all of them and not lose your patience, you are a saint.
What kind of phases are your kids going through right now?
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